Causes of the War
- Greece owed Bank of America $65.35
- Greece missed its minimum payment of $12.
- Bank of America charged Greece a $25 late fee.
- Greece threatened to never send Bank of America another dime.
- Bank of America invaded Greece
Bank of America's Objectives
- Protect shareholder value
- Force Greece to pay their debt of $90.35
What we know so far
- Bank of America has invaded Greece with an undisclosed amount of soldiers. (5 to 15 employees)
The nation of Greece and most of the world has condemned Bank of America's actions.
World Reaction
- Greece - Who are these lunatic Americans running around our country stealing our sh*t?
- United Nations - declared the invasion illegal and criminal.
- Germany - Moynihan beat us to the punch. Damn him.
- Obama Administration - Are you serious? I thought you were joking. What the hell is wrong with that company? Why can't they act like Wells Fargo?
Bank of America Board of Directors
The board called an emergency meeting to discuss the new crisis that Brian has started.
The board of directors voted 10-2 to condemn their company's invasion of Greece. Moynihan was not present to vote.
Sharon Allen, a member of the board, told the media that she voted against the invasion. "Moynihan spent $368 million on preparations for the invasion. How do you spend that amount of money over a $90 bill? How do you justify that?"
Thomas May, a member of the board, voted to support the invasion and Moynihan. He released the following statement to the press.
"I know it sounds crazy to spend $368 million to invade Greece in order to collect a $90 debt. But is it really crazy? Moynihan has proven the skeptics wrong everytime. I trust his vision and judgement. Moynihan didn't buy Countrywide. Now, that was crazy. Invading Greece seems very sane when compared to that decision."
Greece Invasion Stats
Before Invasion: $17.41
After Invasion: $16.89
Before Invasion: $17.41
After Invasion: $16.89
Percent Loss: 3%
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